Belajar Menulis..

THE SACRIFICE OF MOTHER

On 12^th December 1994 in Ujung Pandang, Aisyah As Sholihah who a woman bore a baby with happy. The baby was  very funny and crying on. The baby was given name Jannatuz Zahra Jamilah. It’s mean the beautiful flow­­­­­er in the heaven. From the name, my parents wish that I become people who close by with the God then I fragant the heaven.  They call me Zahra. I lived in the small village of Ujung Pandang with my father and my mother. I have no brother or sister, so my father and my mother very loved me. Our life was very simple and sufficiency. Although it, my father and mother always gave me the best education. I was school in Elementary School 1 Ujung Pandang. Although our life was sufficiency ,  I was very happy because I could come together with them whenever. ‘Togetherness is very important to me,’ said I. When I was a child, I nearer with my mother than my father. Although it, my father always made toys to me and played with him.

When I was in Elementary School, my parents very coddle me. Everyday, they accompanied me to go to school and picked me up. After I studied, I helped my mother to cook in the kitchen, swept the yard, etc. I usually helped my father at night because the job my father was a mathematic teacher in Elementary School 2 Ujung Pandang. I used to play with my father in the edge a lake which close by with home. Meanwhile my mother was making shawl to me. Commonly, my father invited me and my mother to around the lake which was arounded by mountain. Before I was born, my father made a sampan from bamboo. So, if my father had a baby, he would visited a baby to around the lake. When I feeling sad, I sat in the edge of the lake. There, I felt peacefulness when I was amazing with the God. I could cry complacently. Sometimes, my mother approach me when I wasn’t in home. She always entertained me, hugged and kissed me deeply. She always said that I may not feel sad, because she was always with me. On year end, I became the class champion. I was happy when my parents are smiling. They looked proud with me. My friends congratulated me and most of them gave me some price. My parents hugged and kissed me repeatedly. Finally, We went home with my wonderful and my parents’s face were very proud to me.

When we had arrived at home, we sat in the living room.

‘ Zahra, that is special for you,’said my mother and gave me sweater.’

‘ I had prepared it for you. I knitted it self. I hoped you liked it, Zahra,’smiled my mother

‘What a beautiful sweater! Thank you so much, Mom.You very care to me. Believe me, I would safe it and wearit,’ I said and kissed her hand.

I was very happy because I get sweater from my loving mother. I had to save it and weared it. Those sweater was blue colored.

After I had finished studying at Elementary School, Icontinued in Junior High School 1 Ujung Pandang. The first day at school, all of students got ‘Masa Orientasi Siswa.’ Aspect of learning at Junior High School was very different with Elemtary School. The difficult lesson was challenge for me. It can make me to more spirit to hold my dream. Face of my mother always shadowed me to more spirit more and more.

If I went to school, my father and  mother always carried me with a favorite bicycle. I never embarrassed, because they cared and loved me. They were intelligence because he did something which didn’t do by others. ‘ They are the best parents in the world,’ said I proudly. Meanwhile my father was in front of my school, my mother accompanied me to go my class.

            ‘ Mom, I love because the God’, said I
When I said it, my mother just cried. I really didn’t understand what my mother was thinking abot me. She must have thought that I was too adult to say it. She just cried and kissed me repeatedly and hugged me deeply. When I entered my class, my mother was crying and smiling.

At school, I would know how to study to be adult. Beside that, I also studied socialization process, I could understand how to have a common over and there, I had many friends, one of them was my close friend. Her name is Azzatul Khusna. Her nickname is Azzna. It was given from front of Azzatul and the behind of Khusna. She is beautiful, clever, friendly, and respectful. She was always beside me whatever situation. She became my friend sincerely. She was not only rich but also arrogant. Moreover, I considered her as my family. I always told my problem to her and conversely. I also had a friend who always cared.His name is Muhammad Fatih Al Farizi. I called him, Fatih. I knewhim when I got MOS. At the moment, he had helped me when I fall in the yard because I would help my friend who was bringing too things. Finally, he helped and took me to UKS with his friend, Rifqi Fauzan. After that, Fatih asked Azzna to accompany me in UKS and he went away. Not long after that, Fatih came back and he carried me a glass of warm tea. He asked me to drank it and took medicine immediately. Then, Fatih went away. I smiled and suprised with him. Not long after that, I got well and went home immediately.

‘ Assalamu’alaikum,’ I said when I went home  and met my mother. I didn’t forget to kissed her hand.

            ‘ Mom, why you cry when you are with me in front of my class? What you sad?, said I
            ‘ Never mind, Zahra. I just touched what you say,’ smiled my mother. 
            ‘ I really love you because the God,Mom. I want to love you from my heart forever. I also want to thank you because you have born me in the world. Thank you, Mom. Your merit can always in my heart,’ said I and kissed her hand.
Heard it, my mother nothing said and cried again then hugged me deeply. Her hug was full of love. I felt very enjoy and didn’t want to lost it forever. Her hug became me to be rigid people.

The next day, on 12^th December 2012 was my birthday. I wake up at 04.00 a.m and met my mother in front of me.

‘Good morning, my loving Zahra,’ said my mother ang gave me a beautiful present

‘ (I just smiled and surprised)’

‘ These for you, my love. Happy birthday, Zahra. I wish that you can get all the best. My message is you have to be stand a person in good stead. I’m sorry, Zahra, I only can give you simple thing,’ smiled my mother.

‘ (I am smile) This is a beautiful present which is given for me, Mom. (I am cry and kiss my mother) Thank you my loving, Mom,’said I and cried.

I and my mother opened those present together. Those present looked nice and very neat. After we opened together, there was a book diary. My mother wish that I wrote when I felt anxious. I could express everythingin my diary book. Not long after that, my father came to my bedroom. He gave not only congratulated but also a present. He gave me a beautiful yashmak to me.

‘ Thank you my father and my mother. You are the best parents,’ crying I

‘ We will give you the best, Zahra,’ my father and mother said
After that, they hugged me and kissed me. That day was a good day for me.

When I was in Junior High School, I used to write diary which was given by my mother. I usually write it before went to sleep.

            Dear diary
            Today, I write in my diary book at first.
            I want to fill this my diary book with all of condition of me.
 You will be my best friend after Nita.
            Diary..
            I want to write all of my dream
            and whatever have happened of me.
Diary..
Remember me that my live isn’t known by people
But..How they remember me in their live..
So, help me to manage my live so that I can “How they remember me not to know me”....

I wanted to know many people in my around. I had to patient in my life. “For me, live is a long journey, full of corner of live and we can fall if we aren’t carefully.”
            In my life, I try to close by with my God. I want to be religious people. Sometimes, I suck for somebody else so they annoye to me, but they are never angry to me because they really know who am I. I always want to be grateful people to God. I grateful to God have gaven me many enjoyable, and I shouldn’t give up because I’m sure, my God always with me wherever I am. Everything, I give over to God. Beside that, I want to make happy my parents, specially my loving mom. In my dream, I want to haj pilgrimage my parents.

Since I knew Fatih, he used to wait me in front of school to go to my class together. He was so kind and considered her like my brother. Almost of my friends thought that I was his girlfriend. For me, there wasn’t girlfriend or boyfriend in the world but a wife or a husband. After I studied, Fatih accompanied me to go house until my mother saw me perplexity. She thought thatI was sick because I was accompanied by Fatih.

‘ What wrong with you, Zahra?said my mother perplexity.
‘ Never mind, my mother. He is Fatih. He just accompany me to go house,’said I
‘ Oh, I afraid you, Zahra. You ask him to go into house,’ my mother said
‘ Oh, thank you, Mom. I will be home. I will come a good time,’ said Fatih.

After he accompanied me to go house, he came back.

‘ Zahra, why you never tell m

e about Fatih?’said my mother.

‘ Iam sorry, Mom. I just know Fatih. I don’t know why he accompany me. I consider him like my brother, Mom,’said I

‘ I think that he likes you, Zahra,’ said my mother

‘ Mmm...that is just your opinion, Mom,’said I

‘ You may not like that. Maybe, he care you because he love you,’said my mother

‘ Mmm..okey. If he love me, I will not accept him as boyfriend. I will finish studying, Mom, ‘said I

‘ Then, if he coerce you, what will you do?’said my mother

‘ He never do it to me. If he really love me, he never do it, Mom,’said I

‘ Okey, it is up to you, Zahra. But you have to carefully,’said my mother

‘ Yes, Mom. I have to finish my school. I am still too young to this problem. I will give my problem the God. I believe that the God will give me the best,’ smile I.

When holiday of Senior High School, my father invited me to go to Bali  for a week. In the middle or our journey, we was accident. Our car avoid a truck which overtook a car in back current. So, our car struck a tree in the edge of the street. I was very weak. Totterly, my father and mother were unconscious and bled. I tried to exit from car to ask helped. Finally, I stopped a car to carry them to the hospital. Their injury was very seriously.

            After that, my father and mother were carried into operation room. I was very afraid and only prayed to their happiness. After a few hours, ‘ I’m sorry, your father is dead because she lost of blood very much, ‘ the doctor said.

            I said and cried, ‘ How is my mother?’
            The doctor said, ‘ Your mother is fine. She have awared and you can visit him.’
I entered into a room which my mother was taken care. She was very weak and happy when she saw that I was fine. She hugged  me and then cried. She looked shock after that accident.

            ‘ Where is father, Zahra?’ said my mother.
I shocked when my mother said it. I was just silent.
            ‘ Why is you silent?’ said my mother.

I was afraid to say what had happened, but my mother coerced me to say it. ‘ Mmm....., I’m sorry Mom, father has left us forever,’ I said panickly. When heard it, my mother cried and hugged me again.

            ‘ We have to patient and forceful, Mom. I’m sure that we can do it.’ I cried.

My mother cried. ‘ I’am sorry, Zahra. If I don’t ask him to have talk, I wouldn’t struck.

‘Sssst....You may not say like that, my mother. This is trial of our life from the God to be patient and forceful,’said I.

            The next day, my father would be graved. There, I was accompany by my friend, Azzna.
 ‘ You have to forceful and patient, Zahra. I believe that you can do it,’ she said to me.
At the moment, I only cried and cried when my friend hugged me and I saw my pale faced of my father.

            After it, I often alone, daydream, and missed my father. Everyday, Azzna always accompanied and entertained me. Father’s face always came in my dream. In my dream, he asked me that I had to forceful, patient, and smile in my life. He also asked me to saved Mom and made her happy.

            ‘ Yore, your father is a stiff man. He is always saves us whenever and wherever. When you are young and crying, your father who tries to amuse you and makes you silent . A night, he often asks you to see stars at the sky and tell you how stars fall from thae sky. You often is invited your father to have walk. He very loves you so that he pften give you price’, told my mother

            ‘ (Crying and smilling) My father is very excetionally. Now, my father has gone forever. We may not long draw out in sadness. We just can remember father in memorial, Mom. We have to get up to enjoy our life’, said I

            Now, Only me and my mother in house. Liked my father, my mother loved me deeply. She promsed that she would give whatever and made me happy. I also promised to myself that I would make my mother became mother who most happy in the world. I would remember message’s father which father gave. Although I was woman, I had to save my mother.  

            Without my father in side us, I and my mother had to enjoy our life commonly. My mother had me continue my school. My mother tried to open a cake small shop. It could help in our life. I very thanked the God that the God had given me my mother who was exceptionlly, liked my father. I very thanked that I had educated by my parents who was exceptionally. My mother worked hadrly to our requirement. My mother struggled so that I could study.

            Saw the buffethings of my mother, I promissed myself that I wouldn’t make my mother dissapointed or sad. I had to study hard and became a success person so that I could make my mother happy. I was not only studied at the school, but also I helped my mother to sell cake which my mother made in the school. I proposed that I helped to sell my mother’s cake in canteen at the school. I didn’t care if my friends derisived me. I had to spirit to help my mother. I never gave in to help my mother. If my mother’s cake which I left in canteen wasn’t through,I would sell it around the village after I finished from my school and I went home at 5 p.m. I wasvery happy that many people who liked with cakes which my mother made. They were satisfied with taste of the cakes. Beside that, I and my mother agreed that we sold it cheap so that we had many customer. And then, everyday cakes which I sold, was through.

            ‘ The God is very fair and charitable. The God give problem in my family but the God also give me godsend. The God didn’t give what I desirable but the God give what I need. Thanks God’, said I in my heart

            At night, I was sitting in my bedroom and remembering my father. But  suddenly, my mother came into my bedroom.

            ‘Why you cry, Zahra? Whereas you ask me to patient and forceful,’said my mother sadly.

            ‘No, I’am not cry, Dad. I just remember and miss father,’ said I sadly.

            ‘I know it, you persistent to smile whatever situation,’said my mother with his sweet smile.

            ‘Thank you, Mom. You have been made me forceful and smile again.

            ‘It is no problem, honey. ( my mother hug me ). Now, you have to sleep, your father have been waiting for you in your dream, honey, said my mother smily.

When I wa slept, I dreamt my father. In my dream, my father said that I had to be foeceful people, patient, and good to everyone. I was crtying when I woke up. But I promissed that I had to save my mother.

            When I was helping my mother at the shop, I was unconscious in her shop after my mother had made cakes to be sold. I was carried to the hospital by my neighbor.

            According to result of her check up, the doctor said my mother that I got leukimia and the doctor would that I was taken care in the hospital. But  my mother didn’t allow me to it because she had no money to pay my treatment. Knowing that, my mother didn’t tell me about my disease, my mother didn’t want to see me sad.

            ‘ I’m sorry, I have to give some information for you. According to result, you get leukimia and you have to taken acre in the hospital’, said the doctor

            ‘ I’m sorry, doctor. I can’t do it. I have no money, doctor. Please let me go, doctor’, said my mother

            ‘ Your daughter disease will be serious if you aren’t allow to be taken care in the hospital’, sais the doctor

            ‘ Mmm..please doctor, let me go. I will carry my daughter go to the hospital to check up but I don’t want her to be taken care  in the hospital’, said my mother

            ‘ Are you sure? Whereas, that disease is serious and has to get some treatment from the hospital’, said the doctor

            ‘ I’m sure, doctor. Please, let me go, doctor’, said my mother

            ‘ Allright, oke I agree with you but your daughter have to go in the hospital to get some treatment, okey?’, said the doctor

            ‘ Okey, doctor. Thank you very much doctor’, said my mother

            ‘ Oke, you’re welcome’, said the doctor

After that, my mother and I went to home. My mother  was looked very sad and very confused.

            ‘ I’m sorry my daughter, I have no money to carry you in the hospital, I’m sorry if I wasn’t a good mother for you’, said my mother in her heart.

            ‘ Mom, are you fine? Why do you look very sad?’, asked I

            ‘ Mmm... of course, I’m very well, my dear’, smiled my moher

            ‘ Mmm.. Mom, What do the doctor say about me?’, asked I

            ‘ The doctor said that you was just tiredness. You needed many times to rest. You might not feel too tired, my dear’, saidmy mother

            ‘ Oh, are you sure, Mom?’, asked I

            ‘ Oh, yes, my dear.You have to promisse with me that you will not feel too tired, okey my dear?’, said my mother

            ‘Okey, Mom but I’m still permitted to help you, am I?’, asked I

             ‘Okey, never mind but you have to save your condition’, said my mother

            ‘Of course, Mom’, smiled I

            ‘ Please, apologize me. I didn’t want that you know genuinely. But I promisse that I will try to your treatment’, said my mother in her heart.

            After that, my mother very tried to work to my treatment. My mother always cried when I was sick. When I walked in front of my house, I fell and I was unconsciousness. My mother carried me in my bedroom.

            ‘ I’m sorry, my daughter. I can’t carry you to to the hospital. I have no money. Please, you have to hold out. Don’t leave me alone, my daughter’, cried my mother.

            After several hours, I was consciouness. She was still dizzy.

            ‘ Where am I, Mom? What wrong with me, my mother?’, asked I

            ‘ You are in your bedroom, my daughter. You have fallen and you are unconsciouness, my daughter’, answered my mother

            ‘ Mom, what wrong with me? Why I feel too dizzy, Mom’, said I

            ‘ Never mind, my daughter. You are only too tired. You have to have many time to take a rest, So, now you have to take arest, okey?’, said my mother

            ‘ Yes, Mom’, said I

After that my mother went into her bedroom and cried. She was very confused. She would her daughter got well soon.

‘ I have todo for her’,said my mother

When I was sleeping, my mother went to the hospital to meet the doctor who checked me up yesterday.

‘ Excuse me, nurse, could I meet the doctor who has checked my daughter up yesterday?’, asked my mother

‘ Oh, okey. You can it. The doctor’s room is located there’, answered nurse

‘ Thank you, nurse’, said my mother

After it, my mother went into the doctor’s room and met him. She would ask about her daughter’s disease.

‘ Good afternoon, doctor. Could I meet you, the doctor?’, said my mother

‘ Ok, please sit down. Could I help you’, said the doctor

‘ Doctor, several hours ago, my daughter fall and she is unconscious now. What wrong with her, doctor? What do I can do for her, the doctor?’, asked my mother

‘ According to my analysis, her disease is more serious. He has to be taken care in the hospital soon so that her disease can be treated. Beside that, she has to get spinal cord donor from other’, said the doctor

‘ Doctor, I have no money to it. I’m ready to be a donor for her, doctor’, said my mother

‘ Mmm.... the problem of administration, the hospital can help. Are you sure to be adonor for your daughter?’, said the doctor

‘ I’m sure the doctor. I will do everything for my daughter, doctor. Furthermore, I have been old, doctor. I’m sure, I will be fine’, said my mother

‘Allright, if it your desire, I will do it soon. But I have to check up your daughter condition and your condition, specially your compatibility of spinal cord’, said the doctor

After that, my mother went home. She saw me who was unconscious. Inconsiderate, my mother carried me to go to the hospital soon. My mother asked that she has been already to be a donor for me. She wanted me got well soon.

Inconsiderate, the doctor ckecked up compatibility of spinal cord. Not long after that, the doctor said that spinal cord  of my mother was suitable with mine. My mother asked to be operated soon.

After several hours, the opertaion was successful. Not long afterthat, my mother and I was conscious but my mother was taken care in other room

‘ Doctor, where am I?’, said I

‘ You have been conscious. You are in the hospital. I have to check you. You are very lucky because there are someone who has became a donor for you?’, said the doctor

‘ Donor? What wrong with me, doctor?’, said I

‘ What do your Mom never tell you?’, said the doctor

‘ No, doctor. What wrong with me, doctor?’, said I

‘ You get leukimia and your mother has became a donor for you. She has given her spinal cord for you’, said the doctor

Herad it, I cried. I didn’t think that my mother will do it for me. Inconsiderate I went to mu mother’s room.

‘ Mom, please wake up, Mom. Please, Mom. Why don’t you tell me aboui it all, Mom ’, cried I

Not long after that, my mother was conscious.

‘ Zahra, my daughter, are you fine?’, said my mother

‘ Mom, why don’t you tell me about it all’, said I

‘ Never mind, my dear. The most important for me is your condition. So, I give you spinal cord, please keep it for me’, said my mother

‘ Mom, thank you very much, Mom. I promiss that I will keep it for you. Now, you have to take a rest, okey Mom?’, said I

After several days, my mother and I could leave the hospital. But my mother often had to take a rest and took medicine. Because of her condition, my mother didn’t sell her cake which was made usually. I helped her when she made cakes. After that, I had to sell it. My mother had to take a rest. I helped to sell it with I sold it in canteen at my school. After that, I carried it again to vend in around of village. After I vended it, I went to the apotek to buy some medicine for my mother. I thought that I had to work to my mother’s treatment.

‘ I have work to help my mother. Furthermore, I after today, my mother will be birthday. I will give a present for her’, said I in my heart

‘ Mom, I went to school, you have to take a rest, okey Mom?’, said I

‘ Of course, my dear. You isn’t too tired. You also have to take a rest’, said my mother

‘ Ok, Mom, Assalamu’alaikum’, said I

‘ Wa’alaikumussalam, my dear’, answered my mother

Tomorrow morning, at my school, I saw in publication board that there was write competition and the prize of it was very big. Finally, I decided to appreciate it. I hoped that I was win so that I could help my mother to but some medicine for her and bought a present for her birthday.

‘ Mmm, I will appreciate it,my teacher, could you help me?’, I said my teacher

‘ Of course, Zahra. I will help you. You have to prepare for it tomorrow’, said my teacher

‘ Ok, thank you very much my best teacher’, said I

‘ You’re welcome. Keep spirit, Zahra’, said my teacher

The next day was my mother’s birthday.

‘ Mom, happy birthday to you. I hope that you are always fine. I’m sorry that I can’t give you something’, said I

‘ Thank you very much my dear. Never mind, I’m very happy because you have been being beside me’, smiled my mother

Today, I appreciated in write competition truly. I didn’t tell my mother that I appreciated it because I would make a surprise for her. Finally, I was win in write competition. The reward of it, I bought a gift for my mother. I bought Arab-style shirt for my mother.

After I bought it, I went home to give it for my mother

‘ Assalamu’alaikum, Mom. Today is your birthday, Mom. I give you it for you. Mom, I have won in write competition an dthen I bought it for you. I’m sorry, Mom if I don’t tell you about it because I will give you a surprise’, said I, but my mother was only silent and woke up yet

‘ Mom, are you fine, Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?’, said I but my mother woke up yet.

I very worried my mother. Then, I checked my mother and I knew that my mother had passed away. She had leaved me together. Knowing that, I cried and cried. I had lost my father and my mother, and now I was alone. My mother had leaved me beacuse of her sacrifice. She had given her spinal cord for me. She wanted me that I was always fine.

The next day, I broughtmu mother in final rest place. In there, I cried heart out. I was very sad.

‘ You have to be stiff, my best friend. This is a problem from the God to you, you can be patient, okey? I believe that you can do it’, said Azzna, my best friend

‘ You are right, Azzna. I have to be patient with it. Could you accompany me everyday so that I am not alone again’, said I

‘ Of course, as your best friend, I will do it for you, my best friend’, smiled Azzna

‘ Azzna is right, Zahra. You have to be patient with it. Beside that you have to be stiff, Zahra. I believe that you can do it because all this time I know you that you are a stiff and patient girl’, said Fatih

‘ ( Looked back ) Fatih?’,  shocked I

‘ Allright, this is I. I’m sorry that I just know with your condition from Azzna. All this time, I study in overseas. She has told me all about you and not long after that I go home to meet your condition’, said Fatih

‘ Thank you very much, Fatih. You are so kind. I’m sorry that I have made s difficulties for you’, said I

‘ Never mind. I worried you that I go home only to meet you. I want see your condition. Please be stiff and patient, Zahra. I believe that you can do it. Beside I want to see you, I will said something for you’, said Fatih

‘ What do you say, Fatih?’, said I

‘ I’m sorry, since at the first time I meet you, I’m falling in love with you. At that moment, I don’t brave to say it for you. Finally, I tow it until I find a good time to say it for you. Now, I will say it for you, and I want you to be my wife. Will you marry with me?’, said Fatih

‘ Are you sure with me?’, said I and shocked

‘  Of course, I have promised that I will make you happy, Zahra, will you it?’, said Fatih

‘ ( Zahra just smile and speechless )’

‘ Thank you my princess,’ smiled Fatih

After several months, Fatih and Zahra get married and they were very happy. Then, they had two childs who made them happier.

Everyday, before I slept, I often remembered and missed my parents who had educated me until now, especially my loving mother who had born me in the world. I was sad because my parents had left me when I didn’t make them happy and pilgrimaged them. She also had given me spinal cord which was very useful for me. She had became a heroine and she was the best mother in the world for me. I promised that I would keep it for my mother. Finally, I remembered them with my poem to them

My loving parents

You are my heart, my soul..
Without you, I am impossible in here
See the sky which is very beautiful
without you
I can’t feel your love
and your affection
father....
you are my hero, you always teaches me
what does mean of life..
mother...
you are my heroine,
your love..your sacrifice..unforgettable
I love you, my father
Without you, I am impossible in here
I love you my mother
Without you, I am impossible in here
I very love you
You are my spirit
You are my stiff
Without you, I haven’t mean
You are my guardian angel
The word ‘ thank you’ can’t substitute
what you have done for me
Your love most valuable,
can’t be substitute by all in the world
Your love always be beside me like
the sun irradiate the world
Forever......
I always miss you, my guardian angel

 ***

 ^_^